Before we begin, just a friendly reminder of how sensitive our phone microphones are. We suggest using your phone’s MUTE if you think any of your sounds (like nail filing or shuffling papers) will carry. Just remember to turn your MUTE off before you speak. Thank you.

My name is _________. I am a compulsive self sabotager (or a recovering self-sabotager) and I am the chairperson for today.

This is an open meeting, and we are glad that you are here, especially newcomers. Please join me in a moment of silence to reflect on the reasons we are here. After that, you are welcome to join me, if you wish, in reading the Serenity Prayer.

God, grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.

Some details about how we conduct this meeting:

When we speak, we state our first name and own our addiction. For example, “Hi, I’m ________ and I’m a compulsive self-sabotager.” Then we pause to be acknowledged by the others. If you are new to this meeting and you are unsure about your addiction, you can say, “Hi, I’m ________ and I have multiple addictions.”

We are protected by the tradition of anonymity. People in recovery know they must speak the truth to get better. We ask you to honour our hospitality by not revealing the identities or stories of the people who are here.

We do not cross-talk at this meeting. Each person who shares, talks for her or his own recovery needs—not for the approval, acceptance, or entertainment of others. Please do not offer advice, comments, judgments, or reactions to another person’s sharing.Sometimes we laugh at tragic things. This comes from our joy in recovery and real relief that we aren’t back where we were.

Feel free to share today. If you do not want to talk and someone calls on you, just say “pass.”

Self Sabotagers Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength, and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from compulsive self-sabotage. It is for anyone who is addicted to self-sabotage which results in unhappiness, sadness, joylessness, isolation, avoidance, rebellion, or resistance, or anyone who is fearful of joy, success, happiness, intimacy, or well-being. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop self-sabotage.

There are no dues or fees for SSA membership; we are self-supporting through our own contributions. SSA is not allied with any sect, denomination, political party, organisation, or institution. It does not wish to engage in any controversy and neither endorses nor opposes any causes. Our primary purpose is to stay in recovery and to help other misery addicts maintain recovery.

Would someone like to read “How It Works.” (This is read aloud.)

Hi, I’m ________ and I’m a compulsive self-sabotager

How It Works

Many Twelve Step meetings include a reading of “how It Works,” which is taken from chapter 5 of Alcoholics Anonymous (the Big Book.) The principles in that chapter still work, making a powerful statement about what is required for recovery. What follows is a translation of “How It Works” for compulsive self-sabotagers.

1. We admitted we were powerless over self-sabotage – that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood God.
4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to Our God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have Our God remove all these defects of character.
7. Humbly asked Our God to remove our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood God, praying only for knowledge of our God’s will for us and the power to carry that out.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to misery addicts, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

Many of us exclaimed, “What an order! I can’t go through with it!” Do not be discouraged. No one among us has been able to maintain anything close to perfect adherence to these principles. We are not saints. The point is that we are willing to grow along spiritual lines. The principles we have set down are guides to progress. We claim spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection.

Our description of the Self-Sabotager and our personal adventures before and after starting recovery make clear three pertinent ideas:

• That we were addicted to self-sabotage and avoidance and could not manage our own lives
• That probably no human power could have relieved our self-sabotage addiction.
• That a Higher Power could and would relieve us of this addiction if that Power was sought

Would someone like to read the Twelve Traditions. (They are read aloud.) These are available on page 262 of Anne Katherine’s book “When Misery Is Company” [or download from www.miseryaddicts.org]

Hi, I’m __________ and I’m a compulsive self-sabotager

The Twelve Traditions

1. Our common welfare should come first; personal recovery depends upon SSA unity.
2. For our group purpose there is but one ultimate authority -a loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscience. Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern.
3. The only requirement for SSA membership is a desire to stop self sabotage.
4. Each group should be autonomous except in matters affecting other groups or SSA as a whole.
5. Each group has but one primary purpose – to carry its message to the self-sabotager who still suffers.
6. An SSA group ought never endorse, finance or lend the SSA name to any related facility or outside enterprise, lest problems of money, property and prestige divert us from our primary purpose.
7. Every SSA group ought to be fully self-supporting, declining outside contributions.
8. Self Sabotagers Anonymous should remain forever non-professional, but our service centers may employ special workers.
9. SSA, as such, ought never be organized; but we may create service boards or committees directly responsible to those they serve.
10. Self Sabotagers Anonymous has no opinion on outside issues; hence the SSA name ought never be drawn into public controversy.
11. Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio and films.
12. Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.

If there is anyone here who considers themselves new to SSA, please introduce yourself by your first name only so that we can welcome you.

Are there any visitors?

Are there any SSA birthdays for the month of ___________?

Are there any SSA announcements? (pause and let others respond first, then make the follwing announcements…)

Every 1st and 3rd Saturday of the month, immediately after the book study, we hold a 15 to 20 minute group conscience/business meeting. Join us! We’d love to get your input.

[When a donation link is available] If anyone would like to make a donation, go to www.miseryaddicts.org and click on “How to donate”.

Who would like to volunteer to chair this meeting next week?

Are there any non-SSA announcements?

Today is a:

• A Speaker’s Meeting and the speaker is ________________

… or …

• A Topic meeting.
  If it is a Topic Meeting, introduce yourself again, then proceed with your own sharing about your experience, strength, or hope, ending with the topic for the day. You can call on people; you can have people share in order around the circle; or you can “play tag,” calling on the first person and letting that person call on the next person. You can also ask if anyone has an urgent need and wants to go next.

… or …

• A Step Meeting and the Step is ________________

… or …

• A Book Study meeting and the book we are reading is “When Misery Is Company” by Anne Katherine. Today we are reading from page____, from the paragraph commencing “________________”. The focus of this chapter is _______(give 2-3 sentences to clarify the chapter’s message so far).

After each section is read [or person has spoken] we’ll share in the order we arrived, which is “________, ________, ________” [read list aloud].

Did I miss anyone?

We request that anyone wanting to share a second time wait until everyone else has had a chance to share.

I’d also like to remind the group a second time about how sensitive the microphones are and if you have ANY background noise, please use your Mute button until it’s your time to share. Thank you.

[Start the reading/topic]

Closing the meeting

Start closing the meeting five minutes before the published, official ending time. Following is a sample dialogue to close the meeting.

Does anyone have a burning desire to speak a second time?

Thank you all for being here. We hope to see you next time. Remember that just by attending a meeting, you do a service to others. We couldn’t have a meeting if you weren’t here

Remember, too, that anonymity, like recovery, is a treasured possession. What you hear here and who you see here, please leave here.

Would anyone like to read the Twelve Promises from chapter 6 of Alcoholics Anonymous (This is read aloud). These are not given in Anne Katherine’s book but are taken from Chapter Six of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous

Hi, I’m __________ and I’m a compulsive self-sabotager

The Twelve Promises

1. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.
2. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.
3. We will comprehend the word serenity.
4. We will know peace.
5. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others.
6. The feelings of uselessness and self-pity will disappear.
7. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows.
8. Self-seeking will slip away.
9. Our whole attitude and outlook on life will change.
10. Fear of people and economic insecurity will leave us.
11. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us
12. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.

Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us—sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.

Let us now form a virtual circle. In closing, I invite those who would like to join me in reading the Serenity Prayer

God, grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.

Thank you for joining us. Know that without your presence that there could be no meeting. Remember that it works if you work it.